Isshi's Tedium Diary

#28
Good evening, how is everybody doing?

Although summer is ending, the hot days continue. I let my hair grow out long for the first time in a while, so there's nothing to do about the back of my neck being too hot. Today is August 28th, the day after "Hisai", but yesterday already seems like no more than a dream. Did everybody have fun? That's what's been on my mind lately.

I mentioned it at LIQUID ROOM but, on we've decided on December 2nd at "Shibuya AX"! We can't help but have fun from now on. At AX, I think you'll get to hear songs from "Ouka Ranman" too, so please look forward to it okay?

Well, this time I think I want to tell a bit of a lonely story. The truth is, my grandfather on my father's side of the family passed away a few days ago, and I went home in a hurry. Since I hadn't met him in however many years I had no true feelings welling up, but I felt that to be polite I had to go in a hurry. However, more than anything else I was worried about my father. My grandfather was like a god to my father, to the point where he had never disobeyed him even once, just respected and loved him. I'd often call mother and ask "Is Father okay?" but as my mother wasn't with him at the time she'd just reply back like "I think he's probably fine." But my anxiety wasn't easily cleared away. When I returned home, Father had his stout-hearted behaviour as usual, and was wearing his mourning clothes. I changed my clothes in a hurry and got in the car. From the faces I know around my birthplace to the faces I don't, there were a lot of people in black there. I sat on one of the floor cushions that were lined up, and assumed the posture of praying for my Grandfather's final moments. With a peaceful face, it was just like my Grandfather was sleeping so much that I could almost hear him breathe. And as fitting my stern Grandfather, a sword was placed on his chest. When the ceremony of placing his body in the coffin was over, I met with my cousins after a long time in close conditions so we talked and I was endeared to my cousins' children as we fully appreciated the clear sky.

The next day, after an early rise we got on a microbus to the crematorium. My father sat next to me, and he seemed no different than usual, just looking out the window. As we arrived at the crematory, the person in charge said "Well then, please say your last farewell." and everyone got close to peek at Grandfather's face in his casket. I was standing behind my father and bid farewell to my Grandfather after my father. In my heart I gave him my thanks, "Grandpa, Grandpa, thank you for being there. Please rest well." and looked back, and for the first time I saw my father shedding large tears. My father doesn't show much emotion, but he was crying just like a child. When I silently passed beside my father and stood out in the waiting room as I was, I let out a large sigh and tears of my own overflowed like a dam was broken.

After we laid his ashes to rest, and the funeral ended without a hitch, my father took his place at the wake and was chatting amiably with relatives. He had returned to his usual self. I think at no other time in my life have I seen my father's figure that way. Although he was as usual, I truly feel that my father is my father, and my mother is my mother.
On my return train, and up until now, I thought I'd do even more than my best. I want to have filial piety. I think this from my heart. My Grandfather has never been to see my big performances, but from now on, I think he'll be watching over me from heaven.

"Grandpa, I truly thank you. Good night..."

Well then, let's meet again next time. Yours truly.

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