Under One Umbrella
A story from a fan.
She was coming home from school one day when rain was falling. She uses a bicycle for the commute, has an open umbrella on her shoulder, and pedals cautiously.
Because of the rain she couldn't see very well in front of her, and she couldn't keep the umbrella stable, so naturally she was looking toward her feet. Then, at that time. Before her eyes... she saw two girls walking peacefully under one umbrella. That one umbrella was too small, and they were sticking very close to each other while walking, but their shoulders went beyond the range of the umbrella and were being wet by rain.
When she got a good look at them, they were wearing the same uniform as herself so she thought they were students from the same school, although she had a vaguely uncomfortable feeling about it.
The instant she passed them, thinking 'What could it be...?' she was startled by seeing the two girls. It wasn't just their stature, but their hairstyles, the things they were wearing, and even the scribbles on their bags were entirely the same.
She began to feel frightened and pedaled home just like that at full speed, and talked to her family about what she had seen, but nobody believed her.
She was coming home from school one day when rain was falling. She uses a bicycle for the commute, has an open umbrella on her shoulder, and pedals cautiously.
Because of the rain she couldn't see very well in front of her, and she couldn't keep the umbrella stable, so naturally she was looking toward her feet. Then, at that time. Before her eyes... she saw two girls walking peacefully under one umbrella. That one umbrella was too small, and they were sticking very close to each other while walking, but their shoulders went beyond the range of the umbrella and were being wet by rain.
When she got a good look at them, they were wearing the same uniform as herself so she thought they were students from the same school, although she had a vaguely uncomfortable feeling about it.
The instant she passed them, thinking 'What could it be...?' she was startled by seeing the two girls. It wasn't just their stature, but their hairstyles, the things they were wearing, and even the scribbles on their bags were entirely the same.
She began to feel frightened and pedaled home just like that at full speed, and talked to her family about what she had seen, but nobody believed her.
<Coach's Uncomfortable Feeling>
Were they twins, by chance...? I'm concerned because I feel the possibility is more than a little likely. A more important point. This personal experience, does it really belong to the person herself? <Rain・umbrella・bicycle・can't see well・looking down at her feet> or moreover, I don't know whether to validate that the conditions of <in one umbrella・two people walking close together・passing them・instant> down to <hairstyle・things they're wearing・scribbles on their bags> as being "entirely the same." With just a 'passing glance' I think it's difficult to validate that she could 'be frightened'. If they were walking close together, it's expected that parts of them could overlap with each other and she naturally couldn't see very well, could she? Furthermore, the uncomfortable feeling she felt is strange. I can understand it being strange only after she passed them, but at first she was behind them so it's not that having felt uncomfortable was a definite factor, so in general I don't get the point of "beginning to feel frightened." Rather than this being the experience of the person herself, it's like a story you heard from a person, and I feel it's lacking the conclusion it's based on beforehand. Of course I'm not saying it's not good as a ghost story. Isshi, it's that your data collection and way of writing is naive.