Ladybug
Though three days had passed since New Year, O was secluding himself in his room.
Society was welcoming the new year and shouting cheers of congratulations, but for O, there was nothing peculiar about it. He had to do a major clean-up, though he'd never even bought any New Year's decorations, but when he unintentionally turned on the television by chance, O was informed of the end of one year and the beginning of another. Nevertheless, O couldn't awaken the willingness to do anything, and in terms of going outside only got as far as a nearby convenience store. In what little time was left over, he sighed as he drank cheap alcohol all day long and gazed at the photographs adorning his desk, bidding farewell to an unproductive day while doing nothing but waiting for time to pass. However, it was the case that O had become a person who doesn't conform to society, so to speak.
There was a woman chosen by O's heart, but in the summer of last year, that person passed away in an unforeseen accident. Having lost his hopes for living and his dreams for the future, he had resigned from the company he had been working for. He even hit the bottom of the money he had saved for the future. In his head there was nothing to be done about it, and only the thought of taking his own life came to mind, but nevertheless his resolution wavered when he reached that level, and he was very disappointed in himself in that way. Unable to break from his vicious cycle of sinking into despair and gulping down alcohol, he got to this point in the present.
The human memory is a miraculous thing, in that a reality that can't be experienced again seems to be beautifully ornamented more than necessary in the past. Even O was no exception. You'd expect that there were sad and harsh things as much as there were happy memories, but nowadays he only remembered her smile.
"If only I could meet you once more, just once more, I could die without anything to regret..." O murmured faintly, as though he was talking to his girlfriend in the picture frame. He no longer had the energy to cry, but the girl gazing at him from that surface faced him with a smile that nothing could extinguish.
"No matter how much I wish, no matter how much I mourn, you won't come back... and I can't even go to you... If only..." O stood up while saying that, but when he reached his hand for the sleeping pills he'd obtained prior, something fell from above and hit O's face.
"What...?"
He looked around while tracing his cheek with a finger, and saw that some kind of small bug was creeping across the floor.
"Was it this...?" He bent his knees and crouched down. It seemed to be a ladybug.
"How, in the middle of winter like this? And yet you're perfectly alive..."
It bothered O for some reason, so he'd put the ladybug outside. Taking care not to crush it, he put it in the palm of his hand, and then his sight was pegged to the ladybug's back.
"No way... That..." Tears which O thought had dried up began rolling down his cheeks, as O was wrapped up in feelings too difficult to express.
The pattern he saw on the ladybug's back was his girlfriend's face. A face he could never forget that seemed to be staring at him intently. But a while later that miraculous ladybug stood completely still and spread its wings little by little as if bidding farewell to O, and then seemed to go off somewhere just like that. The instant it took off, his girlfriend was unmistakeably smiling. O believed it unerringly, that it could in no way be a tall tale.
However, to tell the ablsolute truth, it was without a doubt at that time the New Year arrived for O.
Society was welcoming the new year and shouting cheers of congratulations, but for O, there was nothing peculiar about it. He had to do a major clean-up, though he'd never even bought any New Year's decorations, but when he unintentionally turned on the television by chance, O was informed of the end of one year and the beginning of another. Nevertheless, O couldn't awaken the willingness to do anything, and in terms of going outside only got as far as a nearby convenience store. In what little time was left over, he sighed as he drank cheap alcohol all day long and gazed at the photographs adorning his desk, bidding farewell to an unproductive day while doing nothing but waiting for time to pass. However, it was the case that O had become a person who doesn't conform to society, so to speak.
There was a woman chosen by O's heart, but in the summer of last year, that person passed away in an unforeseen accident. Having lost his hopes for living and his dreams for the future, he had resigned from the company he had been working for. He even hit the bottom of the money he had saved for the future. In his head there was nothing to be done about it, and only the thought of taking his own life came to mind, but nevertheless his resolution wavered when he reached that level, and he was very disappointed in himself in that way. Unable to break from his vicious cycle of sinking into despair and gulping down alcohol, he got to this point in the present.
The human memory is a miraculous thing, in that a reality that can't be experienced again seems to be beautifully ornamented more than necessary in the past. Even O was no exception. You'd expect that there were sad and harsh things as much as there were happy memories, but nowadays he only remembered her smile.
"If only I could meet you once more, just once more, I could die without anything to regret..." O murmured faintly, as though he was talking to his girlfriend in the picture frame. He no longer had the energy to cry, but the girl gazing at him from that surface faced him with a smile that nothing could extinguish.
"No matter how much I wish, no matter how much I mourn, you won't come back... and I can't even go to you... If only..." O stood up while saying that, but when he reached his hand for the sleeping pills he'd obtained prior, something fell from above and hit O's face.
"What...?"
He looked around while tracing his cheek with a finger, and saw that some kind of small bug was creeping across the floor.
"Was it this...?" He bent his knees and crouched down. It seemed to be a ladybug.
"How, in the middle of winter like this? And yet you're perfectly alive..."
It bothered O for some reason, so he'd put the ladybug outside. Taking care not to crush it, he put it in the palm of his hand, and then his sight was pegged to the ladybug's back.
"No way... That..." Tears which O thought had dried up began rolling down his cheeks, as O was wrapped up in feelings too difficult to express.
The pattern he saw on the ladybug's back was his girlfriend's face. A face he could never forget that seemed to be staring at him intently. But a while later that miraculous ladybug stood completely still and spread its wings little by little as if bidding farewell to O, and then seemed to go off somewhere just like that. The instant it took off, his girlfriend was unmistakeably smiling. O believed it unerringly, that it could in no way be a tall tale.
However, to tell the ablsolute truth, it was without a doubt at that time the New Year arrived for O.