Gift
B-ko and I are members of the same band, and lovers. Of course, the other members are officially recognized too, so at the time we began associating with each other it was awkward and the rhythm was twisted up, but after we became used to it we went into a good-feeling groove and were breathing perfectly in sync. Together we encouraged each other, and I think we produced a synergy. If popularity could come about from this, it'd be a matter for great congratulations... but, to our regret, society isn't so amiable. The amount of time we have for lives is just 20 minutes, and if we don't sell a quota of 30 tickets, we have no choice but to make up for it with our own money. Therefore we all do daily jobs, but if we work then that cuts into our practice time and we don't improve. However, if we don't work we can't feed ourselves...
I'm talking in circles so to speak, but even so we believe in the music we make ourselves, and somehow we gather up what limited time we have and go to the studio twice a week without fail. Nevertheless, as time passes this fellow called 'Reality' traps us in anxiety.
When two years had passed since our formation, our drummer said at last that he wanted to withdraw from the band. That guy left his sticks without even listening to my repeated persuasion as the leader, dyed his hair unnaturally black like a crow, and deserted us regardless of a live we had planned. Our morale dropped all at once, but somehow or other we discovered a support drummer in time for the live and were able to perform without a loss in our 20-minute stagetime. Afterward we welcomed that support drummer as an official member and our spirits were thoroughly refreshed. But now one year has passed with the current members and this time our bassist has been saying he wants out. As you'd expect my heart was broken and I was worrying about what to do, when in the end I concluded that disbandment was the answer...
I was going to tell my girlfriend B ahead of the other members, but I judged that as not being fair, so once everyone was all together I spoke my mind about the matter.
Sitting in a circle at the family restaurant we usually go to on our way back from the studio, I made sure to order drinks for everyone, pressed the flame of my cigarette that I had only just lit into the ashtray, and after I breathed out one puff of smoke, began to talk.
"Ill be abrupt... you might be surprised that I'm mentioning such a thing, but I think we should disband..."
When I told them this, everybody looked downward all at once as if they were somehow or other sympathizing. Taking that as an unspoken agreement, I said, "But, we did our best. Isn't that right? It's not really that we lost, or that we're running away. It's just, there was not really an eye for these guys in the world... or, an ear? Haha."
As I said this I smiled in a feeling of self-restraint. B turned to me, her face flushed red as though she couldn't bear it and wanted to cry. "Is that so... We were good... Then, at our last live, we'll give it all we've got so we won't h-have a-any r-regrets..."
Thereupon B burst into tears and she slumped down on the table. Not knowing what we should do, we all passed the time in silence for a little while, but soon enough the drummer guy said that it was time to go to work, so he only confirmed the next studio schedule and returned home. Immediately after that, the bassist got up from his seat too.
When it was just the two of us, B lifted her head after a little while. It seemed she had come to a state of composure, and once she drank a mouthful of the cola she neglected, she said, "Because this is the end, we can't leave behind any regrets!!"
With all her might she bluffed the words she couldn't say some time ago and after that drained her remaining cola.
The last live that B spoke of was an event called "Christmas Carnival vol.5" and in accordance with that name we held the event on Christmas Eve which was not particularly unusual, but since it was a special last live for us, our need for enthusiasm from everyone was different. We practiced until impossibly late at night, and in setup we devoted ourselves to carefully choosing the order in which our songs would be played on the appointed day. Furthermore, the livehouse manager who also knew our situation did us a favour and let us decorate the reception on the appointed day, but I couldn't help but think of one more thing.
Yes, a Christmas present for B. Without money throughout the whole year, I couldn't buy expensive things... Two years ago it was a plush toy from a UFO catcher, and last year it was a silver ring I bought from a street booth. For all that, this year there was a thing I wanted to buy for B no matter what, for our final performance. It was a dress that would really suit B's long hair. We saw it in the show window of a clothes shop on our way back from the studio one time, and B said "Wah~ That's so pretty!! Nee, nee, don't you think this dress would suit me? It would totally suit me!" She turned around to display it, making her proud long hair flutter, but I stared in awe at the price tag.
"Ahh, it suits you. It suits you. When the band becomes popular I'll buy as much as you like."
B gazed at it and seemed to be reluctant to part as I took her hand and hastily lead her away from that place.
I thought I would have to make money somehow or other, and decided to sell my favourite guitar that I had bought after struggling to save up the money. I stuck to my determination that way, because above all, no matter what, I wanted B to be able to wear that dress. Having exchanged my guitar for money at a second-hand instrument shop, I went to the clothing shop where that dress adorned the window and bought it with all the money I had on hand, then left the shop carrying the carefully packaged bag in both arms.
I would have kept the present a secret up until that very day so I could surprise her, but in reality, I was the one who was surprised...
On the very day of the live, the rehearsal time was approaching and B still hadn't come. I was tapping my foot in agitation while checking my watch over and over again. I couldn't keep my composure no matter what, and at the exact time I got up from my chair to go see the situation outside, the door of the dressing room was violently opened.
B appeared, and said "Sorry. I got delayed..." while gasping for breath. When I looked at her figure I was shocked. B's proud long hair was completely gone, and had now become utterly short hair...
"Y-you... that... What happened to your hair?!" I asked, pointing, and B replied in rapid succession while running out of breath, "Ah, this? This is... a change of mood! Is it odd? Well it's like this. I'll make use of it today. Right?"
"Ah! Is that so!!"
I was knocked out of my wits by B's hair and didn't notice, but she was holding a heavy thing in both hands, and that was an amp I wanted from before. Still, while her shoulders heaved with her breathing, B said, "You wanted this before, right? I wouldn't say that the sound of this amp really suits my guitar. So, this is your present."
Eventually, B was singing while wearing the dress that was unbalanced with her short hair. I connected a cheap guitar to the amp that was given to me by B and played, so our live was at a prime in its own way. After we finished the performance I heard from B that it seemed she had found a job as a well-paid haircut model. So the day before the live she cut her proud long hair.
We think of each other too much as companions, and thus we gave each other so-called meaningless presents. We looked at each other's faces and smiled wryly, but miraculously our hearts were satisfied.
Once we finished tidying up the instruments, we greeted friends' bands and the manager of the livehouse whom we were so grateful to up to now, and snow was dancing down outside. B saw it and, striving to be in high spirits like a child, ran off to look at the night sky. Turning around like she did at that time, she said, "It's a white Christmas! A present from Santa, right!!"
As she said that, I sneezed once and laughed.
I'm talking in circles so to speak, but even so we believe in the music we make ourselves, and somehow we gather up what limited time we have and go to the studio twice a week without fail. Nevertheless, as time passes this fellow called 'Reality' traps us in anxiety.
When two years had passed since our formation, our drummer said at last that he wanted to withdraw from the band. That guy left his sticks without even listening to my repeated persuasion as the leader, dyed his hair unnaturally black like a crow, and deserted us regardless of a live we had planned. Our morale dropped all at once, but somehow or other we discovered a support drummer in time for the live and were able to perform without a loss in our 20-minute stagetime. Afterward we welcomed that support drummer as an official member and our spirits were thoroughly refreshed. But now one year has passed with the current members and this time our bassist has been saying he wants out. As you'd expect my heart was broken and I was worrying about what to do, when in the end I concluded that disbandment was the answer...
I was going to tell my girlfriend B ahead of the other members, but I judged that as not being fair, so once everyone was all together I spoke my mind about the matter.
Sitting in a circle at the family restaurant we usually go to on our way back from the studio, I made sure to order drinks for everyone, pressed the flame of my cigarette that I had only just lit into the ashtray, and after I breathed out one puff of smoke, began to talk.
"Ill be abrupt... you might be surprised that I'm mentioning such a thing, but I think we should disband..."
When I told them this, everybody looked downward all at once as if they were somehow or other sympathizing. Taking that as an unspoken agreement, I said, "But, we did our best. Isn't that right? It's not really that we lost, or that we're running away. It's just, there was not really an eye for these guys in the world... or, an ear? Haha."
As I said this I smiled in a feeling of self-restraint. B turned to me, her face flushed red as though she couldn't bear it and wanted to cry. "Is that so... We were good... Then, at our last live, we'll give it all we've got so we won't h-have a-any r-regrets..."
Thereupon B burst into tears and she slumped down on the table. Not knowing what we should do, we all passed the time in silence for a little while, but soon enough the drummer guy said that it was time to go to work, so he only confirmed the next studio schedule and returned home. Immediately after that, the bassist got up from his seat too.
When it was just the two of us, B lifted her head after a little while. It seemed she had come to a state of composure, and once she drank a mouthful of the cola she neglected, she said, "Because this is the end, we can't leave behind any regrets!!"
With all her might she bluffed the words she couldn't say some time ago and after that drained her remaining cola.
The last live that B spoke of was an event called "Christmas Carnival vol.5" and in accordance with that name we held the event on Christmas Eve which was not particularly unusual, but since it was a special last live for us, our need for enthusiasm from everyone was different. We practiced until impossibly late at night, and in setup we devoted ourselves to carefully choosing the order in which our songs would be played on the appointed day. Furthermore, the livehouse manager who also knew our situation did us a favour and let us decorate the reception on the appointed day, but I couldn't help but think of one more thing.
Yes, a Christmas present for B. Without money throughout the whole year, I couldn't buy expensive things... Two years ago it was a plush toy from a UFO catcher, and last year it was a silver ring I bought from a street booth. For all that, this year there was a thing I wanted to buy for B no matter what, for our final performance. It was a dress that would really suit B's long hair. We saw it in the show window of a clothes shop on our way back from the studio one time, and B said "Wah~ That's so pretty!! Nee, nee, don't you think this dress would suit me? It would totally suit me!" She turned around to display it, making her proud long hair flutter, but I stared in awe at the price tag.
"Ahh, it suits you. It suits you. When the band becomes popular I'll buy as much as you like."
B gazed at it and seemed to be reluctant to part as I took her hand and hastily lead her away from that place.
I thought I would have to make money somehow or other, and decided to sell my favourite guitar that I had bought after struggling to save up the money. I stuck to my determination that way, because above all, no matter what, I wanted B to be able to wear that dress. Having exchanged my guitar for money at a second-hand instrument shop, I went to the clothing shop where that dress adorned the window and bought it with all the money I had on hand, then left the shop carrying the carefully packaged bag in both arms.
I would have kept the present a secret up until that very day so I could surprise her, but in reality, I was the one who was surprised...
On the very day of the live, the rehearsal time was approaching and B still hadn't come. I was tapping my foot in agitation while checking my watch over and over again. I couldn't keep my composure no matter what, and at the exact time I got up from my chair to go see the situation outside, the door of the dressing room was violently opened.
B appeared, and said "Sorry. I got delayed..." while gasping for breath. When I looked at her figure I was shocked. B's proud long hair was completely gone, and had now become utterly short hair...
"Y-you... that... What happened to your hair?!" I asked, pointing, and B replied in rapid succession while running out of breath, "Ah, this? This is... a change of mood! Is it odd? Well it's like this. I'll make use of it today. Right?"
"Ah! Is that so!!"
I was knocked out of my wits by B's hair and didn't notice, but she was holding a heavy thing in both hands, and that was an amp I wanted from before. Still, while her shoulders heaved with her breathing, B said, "You wanted this before, right? I wouldn't say that the sound of this amp really suits my guitar. So, this is your present."
Eventually, B was singing while wearing the dress that was unbalanced with her short hair. I connected a cheap guitar to the amp that was given to me by B and played, so our live was at a prime in its own way. After we finished the performance I heard from B that it seemed she had found a job as a well-paid haircut model. So the day before the live she cut her proud long hair.
We think of each other too much as companions, and thus we gave each other so-called meaningless presents. We looked at each other's faces and smiled wryly, but miraculously our hearts were satisfied.
Once we finished tidying up the instruments, we greeted friends' bands and the manager of the livehouse whom we were so grateful to up to now, and snow was dancing down outside. B saw it and, striving to be in high spirits like a child, ran off to look at the night sky. Turning around like she did at that time, she said, "It's a white Christmas! A present from Santa, right!!"
As she said that, I sneezed once and laughed.